You Are a Cat, and You Suck

It is a beautiful day, and you are a horrible cat. Your parent calls you “Night”, as well as “a void” and “widdle baby snugglefuzz”. On the way home from the dreaded vet, you saw it. the greatest whole salmon you’ve ever seen. and today, you’re going to get out of the house, to the store, and to that salmon. You’ve earned it. There are two important things to know: 1. You play as one of the core drives of a single cat. 2. Acquiring that fish is going to be a trial.

You Are a Cat, and You Suck is a fail-forward, diceless one page TTRPG for 2-4 players and a GM. Players inhabit one of four drives (Hunt, Chonk, Fury, Snoop), and will Yarn Ball-Paw-Claw (or "Rock-Paper-Scissors") to attempt to do various actions while moving along a cat alignment grid. Can you use your skills, zoomies, and single brain cell to get that salmon, or will you run out of lives and get caught?

Playtested with Break My Game and at UnPub at PAX Unplugged.